The idea for these books arose when I was looking back at family photos. My eldest son was tenderly cradling his new baby brother and beaming with pride. But in some of those photos there was a little bit of side-eye in his expression. And who could blame him? The baby, this so-called bundle of joy and ray of sunshine, had tipped his world upside down. All the adults who used to have him at the centre of their universe for the previous three years were caught up in the needs of the baby. And that baby was loud!
In My Brother is an Avocado the stages of pregnancy from tiny poppy seed to enormous watermelon are taken literally to explore the anxieties but also the wonder and excitement of a new baby on the way. In My Sister is a Treasure terms of endearment are taken at face value when the new baby comes home. How can she be a ray of sunshine if it’s still raining?
So here are some suggestions for managing the sibling relationship, prompted by examples from my picture books:
· If my sister is such a bundle of joy, why does she cry? A lot!
Prepare your child for life with a newborn and how much babies cry – and sleep! Dig out old photos or their baby book and share what a special time it was.
· Can you cuddle an avocado?
They’re unsure how fragile a baby is and don’t want to get it wrong. Reassure and show them how to hold the baby, always supervised. Ah, that new baby smell!
· Watermelons are MASSIVE and heavy and there’s no way he’s going to fit in the bath with me.
They might have a bizarre concern that would never have crossed your mind but let them express it and then you can reassure: It’s going to be even more fun at bath time. What bath toys do you think the baby will like?
Acknowledge their feelings – it’s normal to feel jealous or anxious. They’ll suggest the baby goes back into Mum’s tummy at least once!
· Can you have two dimply dumplings in one family?
Grandma calls the new baby her dimply dumpling, but the big sister used to be Grandma’s dimply dumpling! Eek! Let them know that there’s more than enough love to go around! If Mum and Dad are tied up with baby’s needs, grandparents, aunties, uncles etc can provide some much-needed one-on-one time.
· I’ll be the captain and wear the hat because I’m the oldest
Give them a role to help: playing peek-a-boo, selecting a teddy, fetching the wipes. Make sure they feel on the inside of the new dynamic, not on the outside.
It’s never too early to share books. Whether they can read yet or not, they can still turn pages and describe the pictures to the baby.
· Perhaps my sister is a starfish
Don’t forget the wonder – there’s a new tiny human in the house! Look at how tightly the baby grips fingers or makes starfish hands with the startle reflex.
· We’ll watch out for rabbits…I’ll look after him always
Being a big sibling is a really special role – celebrate it.
· Whatever she is or grows up to be, she’s my sister forever…
Don’t force it – they’ve got plenty of time to find their own special bond. I dedicated My Sister is a Treasure to my big sister because she’s been looking out for me for a lifetime.
· My Brother is an Avocado and My Sister is a Treasure by Tracy Darnton, illustrated by Yasmeen Ismail, are published by Simon & Schuster and are available from bookshops and Amazon.
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